Well, you can tell by the title of this post that I am definitely NOT pregnant. I started bleeding at 6 this morning. The night before however I had a very scary health 'event' which I have had a number of times before- sharp pain in my chest and not being able to breath. It is suspected pulmoary emboli, although I am yet to have the tests,as they are quite expensive and I am trying to sort the finances.
In the mean time, had a nice walk with A and our dogs, and she told me that the condition I am concerned about having, a clotting disorder which causes embryos not to implant is called thrombophilia. All the money spent and the specialists and test and this has never been mentioned to me?? SHocking.
Anyway, I did my Internet research and now hoping to have the thrombophilia tests next week. The good thing is if I am diagnosed with it, i can be treated and it may treat both my scary health 'event's and my recurrent miscarriage problem...so, is it the light at the end of the tunnel, or just further down the rabbit hole?
In the mean time, I am become further immersed in the culture of online open donors,a fascinating subculture, similar to internet dating in many ways, the motivations seem as varied as the donors themselves. II have been in touch with a few here, and two in New York, as its looking very likely that I will be returning home soon, at least for a while. The fact that A and her husband (and dog of course!) will be relocating there in the spring takes some of the sting out of it, but I still havent gotten my head around it entirely- I thought I was never going back, and I expect that things I hated about it when I left will be as prevalent as ever, only more so in contrast to London. Still, the hope that I will perhaps have better luck in pregnancy pursuits there does add a ray of hope to the otherwise claustrophobic feelings that the thought of moving back inspires in me, and again I wonder, the light at the end of the tunnel, or just further down the rabbit hole?
No comments:
Post a Comment